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Post by Badwater on Apr 22, 2011 6:43:57 GMT -5
Last night found several dwarfs in Alvar at the Whispering Winds, surveying their stock of fine dwarf ales. A strange thing happened when about a dozen crazed goblins stormed the place, only to be dispatched by the group of dwarfs. Angry at this intrusion to their drinking, the dwarfs set out to find a goblin to toss and get their drink back on.
Outside they ran into a dwarf whose friend or relative was taken off by trolls. One of the dwarfs suggested that it was not trolls, that they were goblins that looked towering when he was drunk and on the ground. He insisted they were in fact trolls and asked the group for help.
What followed was a strange pair of encounters with a couple of folks that Bonk is still certain are a couple of gnomes having a good laugh at his expense. See, the first thing this "dwarf" wants them to do is board a boat that will get them by where the dwarf-snatching at the hands of troll occurred. What, get on a boat? On the ocean? Just like that? A DWARF?? Bonk was having none of it and had to go back to the bartender for several stiff ones so he could endure a water trip. Before departing, he informed this water-loving pseudo dwarf that if he was taking them by boat to a tree village of his pretty little elf friends that Bonk was going to drop him on the spot.
Much to the party's surprise, they did find a bunch of trolls in and around a cave, and the only real dwarfs appeared to be the dead ones littered about. After valiantly fighting their was into a nearby cave, they happened upon a dwarf being held prisoner by the trolls. What followed only served to reinforce Bonk's suspicion that he was dealing with a couple of gnomes having a good laugh at his and his friends' expense.
First, the imprisoned "dwarf" waffled about a clearly bogus explanation as to why he had not become a troll hor d'oeuvre. So when he was waffling, Bonk drew his crossbow and took aim and then started talking to the so-called dwarf in the mother tongue and the "dwarf" could not respond. That was it, time to kill him. Problem was, the pesky gnome had magic armor or something on and none of the bolts stuck. It wasn't his aim, either - the drink had long since worn off and Bonk was irritatingly sober.
With much trepidation at rescuing a gnome having a good prank at their expense, the group finally freed the prisoner, only to have the prisoner not liking the cave and wanting to get out. What, now we don't like being underground? Then after the party had a good look at him they found the prisoner to be on the lean side, balding, and no beard. Much to Bonk's consternation, they took the water-loving, anorexic, hairless, underground hating gnome back to his beloved boat to sail for Alvar. Bonk was out of ale and it was a miserable trip back.
When they got back, they were rewarded with some magic items which Bonk appreciated but only served to convince him that a couple of gnomes pulled a good one on him and his friends. Well it won't happen again - next time he sets out to toss goblins, he aims to do exactly that.
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Post by Badwater on Apr 22, 2011 8:30:35 GMT -5
Conversation sample:
Valdak: Yer goin teh need to be more convincin then this Bonk: If'n you be a dwarf then why is you alive? Valdak: Friend of yours said one o'his friends was taken, if yeh can name em Ill believe yeh Bonk: Looks like yer pack be empty. I figger them trolls fixin yer up fer a nice gnome snack. Hugo: I'm a guessin' they usin' me for bait? Hugo: ya seen how many tried to free me an' died Bonk: Gnomes gimme the creepes, only elfs be worse. Hugo: maybe them figures they kill all dwarves tryin' to help me? Valdak: *laughs* They be pretty close lad, pretty close. Bonk: they be the same after th' first drink. *laughs* Hugo: would a gnome have need of a tankard? Bonk: Ta pull off a ruse? Ya betcha. Valdak: That depends Bonk: Devilish little buggers they is. Valdak: GIve me yer mug. Hugo: lemme out an' can have it Valdak: No, toss it over. Bonk: Toss it over and I'll suggest it has the smith name on the bottom..... Valdak: *frees up a hand to catch it* Bonk: It'll have the smith name on the bottom! Hugo: *tosses it over* Bonk: If'n her not know the smith name he ain't dwarf. Valdak: aye, but there be a good way teh tell a good drink from another. No dwarf drinks fluufy swill. Bonk: It have the name on bottom? Belle: I got an idea Valdak: *looks on the bottom and then sniffs the tankard for what may have been in it* Bonk: Quite true. But there's scuurd laying about, he could just dip it in that Belle: Come over here and show me ye be a real dwarf ladd Valdak: Aye, true but Id considered that before. Belle: Y'll come over here and I'll make a real man of ye Hugo: Ya seein' a barricade here, aye? Bonk: If it be a dwarf tankard it'll have a name. Any Tankard smith will put a name on an honorable itme like that Belle: Yaye you got a key we seem to not be able to open it Hugo: an' that aint scurrd in that tankard Bonk: Here's the deal, lad Belle: *backs up* Valdak: Aye. *eyes the bottom of the tankard some more looking for a mark* Bonk: If you be a dwarf with a dwarf tankard then you be knowing the name of the smith that made it. Belle: He aint no dwarf Bonk: It be having a mark or a name. Tell us if'n you be dwarf. Hugo: that there tankard be a gift from Tabor himself Bonk: Because if you can't then you ain't anna I call the gods upon ye. Bonk: That be it? Hugo: well ways I see it ya might be callin' the gods but if those trolls come back I'm the one safe *smiles* Valdak: *shrugs* Im not one fer knowin holy symbols, you have a look fer yerself. *gives the mug to Bonk* Bonk: Well, wish I had a Tabor mug. That's his mark, near as I can tell. Valdak: Hmm well that be good enough fer me, at least he be havin some respect for the ale me pours in it Valdak: nosy buggers!! Bugger off!!!! Hugo: d**n the hells! Hugo: I was afearin' that Bonk: Not as much as I be fearin dealin wid a gnome.... Valdak: well I be hopin yeh can fight like a dwarf as well. I not be carryin yeh back Belle: *unties rope frome graffling hook* Hugo: well finally Bonk: Donna be cheeky, lad Belle: *stre check* to tie him up Hugo: if ya feelin' safer Hugo: ya ties me up, ya carryin' me Belle: NO ye hands behind ye back lad Bonk: Ain't carryin ya. Scuurd, yes. You, no. Bonk: We could drag 'im. Hugo: I aint walkin' out tied like a pig Valdak: Leave em, if he tries somethin I doubt the three of us will have a problem wit em Bonk: Alright Bonk: Wouldn't mind dragging him on general principle. Hugo: ya can have the rest of those potions there Bonk: as well as rock. Valdak: Aye, but I be in no mood fer such things now Bonk: We need ter go before more of them beasties shows. Hugo: snatch up those an' lets get outta here Valdak: me ale time be cut short from this here scrawny twig of a dwarf, I not be haulin him about. Bonk: *laughs* Belle: They starvin ye lad Valdak: Got a stack o' em, rest are yers. Bonk: Naw, he be drinkin too much of that fancy elf wine! Hugo: this be one cave I canno stand any longer Hugo: take 'em an' lets move Valdak: Eh? You not likin the underground? Figurin you be more at home here then out there Bonk: He's a gnome I tell ya Belle: Ah ha ye be a dark dwarf Hugo: not in this troll infested cave Valdak: Aye maybe, but at least they be liking underground a bit. Bonk: I thinin' it be cozy down here. Exceptin' fer the trolls Hugo: the trolls be smellin' up the place Valdak: That it! My grand mother hits harder! Valdak: Get yer butt up here ya ungrateful twig! Bonk: He stand around like a gnome, not even pickin up a rock? Hugo: *drinks* Valdak: You got a tankard there, put it to use Valdak: lad? Bonk: What, did the pretty little woods elfs bring yer scrawny butt up? Hugo: I'll show ya! Belle: Y'll save me some Valdak: there be plenty to go around Belle: Y'll be right fine gent Hugo: ah they used those to trick ya in here? Bonk: Us, no, therwise they wouldn't be on the ground, eh? Valdak: No havin some party crashers brought us down ere Hugo: well now Bonk: These dwarfs need a proper buryin..... Hugo: Tabor said this was made of fine stone! Hugo: aye, when I get to Alvar I'll come back for 'em Valdak: Aye *nods* lets get them out of this dank place Bonk: Boy, you gots no beard. Where's yer pride? Hugo: we need be gettin' back to Alvar Hugo: I'll pay a crew to come fetch those lads Valdak: Id sooner do it meself and know it was done right Bonk: No hair, can't speak the tongue, donna like a cave......you'll never last a minute ina dwarf pub Valdak: *shakes his head and follows* Valdak: more o em eh? Valdak: It just me or they be getting uglier as we go? Hugo: them was really ugly Bonk: This be the most sissified excuse fer a dwarf I ever done rescued. Hugo: ya say that now Bonk: I do, gnome Valdak: Have yet to prove it otherwise lad. Hugo: I'll prove it soon enough Bonk: I met tougher dwarfs yearlings Valdak: Soon enough? were I bout back now lad, I doubt that will happen Valdak: Aye, I might of killed em as a babe me self Belle: I know of babes stronger than him Bonk: confarnded boats Valdak: Solid ground feels a might better dont yeh agree? Valdak: *pats the ground* Bonk: An ta think I coulda been tossin me some goblins. Valdak: Or tossen back a few still. Bonk: Ah, this is better now. Hugo: Ya happy now? Valdak: Will be later, after a few pints Bonk: Not too late to kill him, I reckon. Valdak: bah not worth the time, would be like hittin a babe. *laughs* Bonk: I'd do it on general principle. Valdak: Agreed, Ill let fate take care of that later. Bonk: next thing ya know he'll treat us to a round of Honey Mead. Bah!
The whole night was like this, it was a riot. ;D
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Post by Edohvi on Apr 22, 2011 10:00:19 GMT -5
Rumor has it that after the encounter with the war party of hundreds of smelly, stinky, squat-headed dwarves (as what the trolls said about the group), a few trolls were able to flee back to the lair of one of the chieftains and report the battle. This enraged the chief so he called a great council and gathered with four other chieftains to decide what should be done about those vermin 'dorfs', the name the trolls call the dwarves for insult. As it turned out, several of the other chiefs reported having troubles with those 'dorfs' and wanted to form a true war council and wipe the world clean of the foul lot.
It was agreed the squat race were to be destroyed and so a great alliance was formed between the five trolls clans. A declaration was sent out even to the colonies of men that the trolls would rid the world of all dwarves and purge the realm of their smell.
//Yes, I've awakened with a plan this morning, hehe. If any would be interested, I would like to attempt another event next Thursday the 28th. Let me know if this is a good time and day. Although last night wasn't planned well, by me, I did enjoy it and want to continue. Please let me know what everyone thinks =)
My thanks to Valdak, Bonk and Belle for the fun!
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Post by Badwater on Apr 24, 2011 1:55:52 GMT -5
Tonight found a group of adventurers following up on reports of troll activity outside of Swordbane Village. Heading south, they ran into trolls along the seashore and then used a rowboat to cross a straight, where there were a good many trolls. What they eventually found were trolls cooking up scores of humanoids of every description. Along with some trinkets that had probably been plucked off the dead bodies, our group found a crude document talking about some sort of gathering. At least, that's all the one of the party could make out.
The document is being taken to Aelos of Faermoor to see if he can glean more from the document.
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Post by Edohvi on Apr 26, 2011 17:24:30 GMT -5
The news has reached the troll kings of an attack from some great army against a band of trolls that had made their way to Dorigin Island. This has enraged the five troll kings, of course and another gathering has been ordered among the troll clans.
"Find who has done this!", the forest troll king screamed at the war troll clerics, "and find that paper!" (Of course said in Troll)
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Post by Badwater on Apr 26, 2011 22:01:12 GMT -5
The news has reached the troll kings of an attack from some great army against a band of trolls that had made their way to Dorigin Island. This has enraged the five troll kings, of course and another gathering has been ordered among the troll clans. "Find who has done this!", the forest troll king screamed at the war troll clerics, "and find that paper!" (Of course said in Troll) Of course it was said in troll! If they were talking Klingon the king would have said tu' 'Iv ghajtaH ta'pu' vam!
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Post by Edohvi on Apr 26, 2011 22:09:43 GMT -5
Thpbt!!! =)
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Post by Edohvi on Apr 26, 2011 23:08:26 GMT -5
Srixon made his way back to the lodge where his fellow 'trackers' usually lingered about. As he figured, two of his closest friends were there so he informed them of his travels to Swordbane Village to help track trolls. His comrades decided they would do their own bit of searching as they listened. "You are quite sure you killed them all?", asked Ayawisgi. Srixon replied, "of course I'm sure." Looking at Elladyr, Ayawisgi stated, "perhaps we should have a look ourselves?" Elladyr agreed.
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Post by Badwater on Apr 27, 2011 9:23:52 GMT -5
....troll? Don't recognize it.
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Post by Edohvi on Apr 27, 2011 9:54:55 GMT -5
Although it is a crude gesture which I presumed your Klingon knowledge would understand, it is Vulcan therefore illogical for me to believe you could interpret. ;D
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Post by Badwater on Apr 27, 2011 16:12:58 GMT -5
Although it is a crude gesture which I presumed your Klingon knowledge would understand, it is Vulcan therefore illogical for me to believe you could interpret. ;D That's not Vulcan - that's an emotional outburst and as such a Vulcan would never utter it. If you had said Romulan, I might have bought it. *throws the bs penalty flag*
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Post by Edohvi on Apr 28, 2011 9:16:12 GMT -5
What?! A klingon that understands both Vulcan and Romulan?! That isn't possible!
*dances on your bs flag and pulls his rd card with the words bull nutse written all over it*
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Post by Edohvi on Apr 28, 2011 9:20:28 GMT -5
Alright, I would like feed back of anyone that wishes to battle more trolls this evening. The event will kick off at 10pm EST barring any trauma like the server crashing or a tornado deciding to visit here like last night. This isn't limited to dwarves but open to all of the level range 10-20, level 10 since you will need your greater belts...and bring along actual fire for your weapons =)
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Post by Badwater on Apr 28, 2011 9:26:05 GMT -5
What?! A klingon that understands both Vulcan and Romulan?! That isn't possible! *dances on your bs flag and pulls his rd card with the words bull nutse written all over it* Nice try, but you don't get a copy of our home game! Nowhere is it stated that a Klingon was talking Klingon, only that a troll would not be talking Klingon because if it were...(and I provided translation). OH SNAP! SSSSSSSSSSSSSS!Bigger letter and color! #WINNING!!!!!
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Post by Edohvi on Apr 28, 2011 9:42:04 GMT -5
Oh you SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO cheat!!!
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